Words gone wrong

Write a sentence each for five of the following words in which the meaning of the word is clearly shown: psychosis, marginal, neurologist, hypothesis, corporal, dexterous, psychiatrist, perspective.

• She told me about her marginal friend and I asked, where is you friend? She said he is in my mind.
• After the mistake we did, she gave us corporal punishment because what we did was too bed.
• The psychiatrist was able to help manage with his metal problems. (ed - Yes, metal).
• He is busy cheasing after children because of his psychosis.
• The lecturere requested the student to go and redo his work as his writing was not marginal apparently. Then student began on the far right of the page. (ed - Hope this satisfied the nitpicking lecturere).
• The neurologist prepared him for surgery to remove his brain tuma.
• After suffering a mental break down Siswe went to see a psychologist for a psychosis.
• Hypothesis is that shrimp has pigament due to the colour of alge they eat.
• The woman took her two sons to neurologist to confirm their date of circumsition.
• The neurologist had told him that this spinal cords were inconact with his vertebral dicks and would cause him pain.
• When you need opparating they give you psychosis to numb the body so that they can opparate in peace.
• My uncle is a corporal in the South African Army, he is responsible for the whole body unit of Gauteng. (ed - Anything is possible)
• The psychosis is that that animal is going to be outraged when we take away it's child.
• A neurologist is almost like a dermitologist, but he/she specializes in face wash and cream (ed - This neurologist is a jack of all trades)
• Disorders people like dexterous as they are good with it.
• The plumber used perspective to prevent the water from flowing out of the plastic pipe that was transporting water.
• A corporal is an action relating to the body. e.g corporal punishment where a person is being punishement by being bitten.
• What happened to my friend Wandile was dexterous that it left him bruised for life.
• The neurologist was unable to save Lerato when she had a broken nerve, hence she died. (ed - well, yes, he's only supposed to deal with face wash and stuff...)

The students speak

Here follow a few excerpts from a certain well-known university’s very own student newsletter.

On distance education…
· Students are not happy about the current situation that they are encounting due to the fact that they are not indulged to attend full time classes. WE ALL KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO ENCOUNT PROBLEMS LIKE THESE, DON’T WE?
· Accommodation is not available for them to have a possible resting place where it is secure for students to stay in Pretoria for their studies at _______.

On future writers…
· This was a year were by most average students i.e. IT, Economics, Management etc founded themselves falling in love with poetry and writing short stories. Blessed with the heavenly gift, the three earthly angels Patient, Zweli and Jazz gave birth to Oceans Therapy poetry session well known as OT. Even thou the founders are not 100% involved lately due to their studies, we are proud to say that “______” is one of the universities that has and still continuing to produce the best poets and writers. SJOE, REALLY?

On striking, injustices and wherebys…
· The South African students’ congress (SASCO) converged on a peaceful march on the 12 of March 2008 whereby they handed their memorandum to the department of education.
· The unavailability of the minister posed questions to the students whereby they allege that she is not taken them serious. I CAN’T IMAGINE WHY…
· For two weeks students have been narrating their frustration in arms and stomping feet at their premises of higher education.
· Vandalism is administered by the patriarchs of their SRC.
· Some students believe lectures should not blame students for taking unauthorized vacations during this chaotic time
· It is said that students aren’t getting benefits from their study loans and their credit contracts are not well explained to them as to future payment. Those who are failing their subject are cut of from obtaining loans. THE BLOODY CHEECK!

On condomising…
· Ladies and Gentlemen: safety comes first but if you can’t help it BUTTLE-UP for your protection, because it might be a bumpy ride that can take your life.
· The condom phenomena have got a lot of issues that need to be taken into concentration. OKAY, CONCENTRATE REALLY HARD NOW.
· Condoms are dominating in our nation today. I THOUGHT IT WAS THE ANC?

WTF?
· Are the critical periods of students requisition really dissipated?
· In the history of fraud, the universities of South Africa have caught students with fake matric certificates. They discovered 21 registered students. The ice breaking issue has been going all over the country concerning this matter.
· ________is the University of High Professionals where this kind of fraud will never be accommodated to the end of endless education TO INFINITY AND BEYOOOOOOND!

Introduction and Disclaimer

By now, it's pretty obvious why we have elected to start a blog. We are a society of Superheroes. No, really we are. We are the powers who can instinctively spot a spelling error, we are the powers who can also instinctively point out how stupid you are.

We are also an uber alternative secret society for whom the stupidity and the sheer lack of logic there is in the world not only annoys us, but also saddens us. We deal with some of the dumbest people the world will ever see, and we suffer through this ordeal in the hope that someday we will waltz into heaven unafraid of meeting any of Ours. Ours is a term which covers the broad spectrum of idiot which is more often than not the garden variety of First Year University student. Not only do we often sit about and wonder how these people ever found themselves in a tertiary institution, but we also attempt doing something about our increasing frustration at having to deal with more and more stupidity crossing our paths.

So what do we do? We start a blog. We rant, rave and keep the dumbness of those we encounter as anonymous. While it may be hilarious to us, our charges don't really see the funny side of the things they come up with because the irony is often lost on them. Every effort will be made to respect the privacy of the dumbass in question, although if you ever had to encounter half the people we do, you'd wonder why on earth we're bothering to afford them that courtesy. Name and shame behbee. The problem occurs when we realise with alarming accuracy that some of the people we might name and shame might literally become the president/presidentess of our Great Land. Scary hey? Not half as scary as what you might find here.

Sooo, what do you expect to find here? Well, in a nutshell:

• The powers that be (the general system/bureaucracy which employs us)
• Spelling (of the atrocious and creative kind that students throw at us)
• Grammar (see above)
• The logic is where? (this is the speciality of the menu, our students tend to possess very little)
• LOL (the funny stuff we encounter on a daily basis)
• zOMG you got to University how? (these are shocking revelations into the minds of people who somehow or the other found themselves at university when ideally they should be in Grade 5)
• The genius that is (this often overlaps with the logic is where?, but this refers specifically to students who belong to a certain department. They never fail to amaze and amuse because they do things which tend to be terminally daft)
• Excuses excuses (every teacher on the face of the earth, probably thinks they've heard every excuse in the book from the dog ate my homework to the I did my work but left my book at home. Trust me, you've not heard/seen creative until you've seen what we offer.)
• Frankly my dear- I don't give a damn (we're really nice, up to a point, give us enough grief and you get the cold shoulder)
• When words fail (pictures or the feeling of so much horror that no other tag fits as a definitive)

We aim to shock readers even more than your local version of People Magazine, we solemnly swear that everything we post here is the absolute truth as written/said/done/handed in for marks by one of Ours.

rah*

P.S.
By Order of Management:
For the future of the human race, please ensure that you do not ever breed if you don't see the funny side in the things you will read here.