Words gone wrong

Write a sentence each for five of the following words in which the meaning of the word is clearly shown: psychosis, marginal, neurologist, hypothesis, corporal, dexterous, psychiatrist, perspective.

• She told me about her marginal friend and I asked, where is you friend? She said he is in my mind.
• After the mistake we did, she gave us corporal punishment because what we did was too bed.
• The psychiatrist was able to help manage with his metal problems. (ed - Yes, metal).
• He is busy cheasing after children because of his psychosis.
• The lecturere requested the student to go and redo his work as his writing was not marginal apparently. Then student began on the far right of the page. (ed - Hope this satisfied the nitpicking lecturere).
• The neurologist prepared him for surgery to remove his brain tuma.
• After suffering a mental break down Siswe went to see a psychologist for a psychosis.
• Hypothesis is that shrimp has pigament due to the colour of alge they eat.
• The woman took her two sons to neurologist to confirm their date of circumsition.
• The neurologist had told him that this spinal cords were inconact with his vertebral dicks and would cause him pain.
• When you need opparating they give you psychosis to numb the body so that they can opparate in peace.
• My uncle is a corporal in the South African Army, he is responsible for the whole body unit of Gauteng. (ed - Anything is possible)
• The psychosis is that that animal is going to be outraged when we take away it's child.
• A neurologist is almost like a dermitologist, but he/she specializes in face wash and cream (ed - This neurologist is a jack of all trades)
• Disorders people like dexterous as they are good with it.
• The plumber used perspective to prevent the water from flowing out of the plastic pipe that was transporting water.
• A corporal is an action relating to the body. e.g corporal punishment where a person is being punishement by being bitten.
• What happened to my friend Wandile was dexterous that it left him bruised for life.
• The neurologist was unable to save Lerato when she had a broken nerve, hence she died. (ed - well, yes, he's only supposed to deal with face wash and stuff...)

And here we go again

Students had to write a newspaper article on terrorism and South Africa. This is but one example:

Even though international officials regard SA as an Terosist Zone but we the awea ar society about that, Gilder said. Afghanistan and Iraq a the one of oure iffect and we will put that under are control. It will not an easy process because aure Country do have Muslim community.

Writing for an televised interview: we welcomes our specially guest…

AFRIKAANS:

Vraag: Wat is `n geoloog?
Antwoord: `n vroue dokter / iemand wat met vroue dele werk.

Vraag: Wat beteken ‘Post’ in postmortem, postmodernisme?
Antwoord: Dit beteken vóór iets gebeur.

Die verhoging van elektrisiteitstariewe is `n kwylpunt (ipv kwelpunt, natuurlik...)

Na aanleiding van `n opsomming oor `n modeparade in die Voortrekkermonument, het Engelssprekende studente soos volg geskryf:

Die direksie is baie simpateties...
Hierdie beelde word baie as senotaaf beskou (?!)
Die direksie span glo ook dat kinders hierdie nuwe beeld geniet.
Apartheid is siestog, want dit seermaak die mense...
Dit is trou (waar...)...
Ek onderstaan (verstaan...) hoe hy voel...

Enough for today...

Some more

Yet again Ours have graced us with answers that can make you cry. Whether it's cry with laughter, frustration or fear for the future; I don't know that's up to you, all I do is show what we get.

Xenophobia is an unnatural fear of spiders, which xenophobic would run away if they see a spider moving in an opposite direction.

What does the 'mort' in 'mortician' mean: living/ killer/ mother/ butterfly

What does the 'corp' in 'corporal punishment' mean: punishment by death

Give one word meaning 'to chop off a head': caputout/ amputate

A heart specialist is called a: gronologist / geologist

What is a pseudonym? a word/ disease/ small finger-like projections growing out of rocks/ a kind of locomotion
Pseudonym means the ability to use your feet in the same way you use your hands.

‘Lux-‘ as a prefix refers to: soap

If you quote somebody in an assignment, what information do you need to give directly after the actual quotation? Their name, birthdate and year they died.

What is an 'Emollient':

An animal with a lot of fur

Somebody who sets difficult exams like this but wants students to pass.

A small depressed person, a depressed person of small stature

Is a person who is trained to take care of small children

If I fail will you forgive me and give me another chance to improve?

Is a person who talks non-stop

Is someone who studies about people’s emotions

An excrete of the body

An engineer

Is a small animal which symbolizes a bigger picture

Someone who is emortal

An animal from Australia

A person who is lient or emoll

A student who is feeling disappointed because he did not revise the parts he thought were useless only to find that they were more than 25% in the exam.

Emotion showing insect

The Cream of the Crop

queen_Lestat: you know, the students are SO BLOODY stupid it's not funny
devSaturnine: you should seen them on the unisa message boards
devSaturnine: they form study groups to study English comprehension
devSaturnine: some white guy was like "READ motherfuckers, and buy a dictionary"
queen_Lestat: LOL

The African Elephant (the journey begins)

Very well, let me be the first to recollect several examples of sentences that first year students had to write on: "The African Elephant".

• African elephants have periods of 22 months.
• A matriarch is a female patriarch.
• The African elephant travels at speeds of 120 kilograms an hour.
• The African elephant spends approximately 60 years on this earth, and then dies [presumably moving on to a better world?].
• Matriarchs are cows. [So are several students, but whatever...]

Introduction and Disclaimer

By now, it's pretty obvious why we have elected to start a blog. We are a society of Superheroes. No, really we are. We are the powers who can instinctively spot a spelling error, we are the powers who can also instinctively point out how stupid you are.

We are also an uber alternative secret society for whom the stupidity and the sheer lack of logic there is in the world not only annoys us, but also saddens us. We deal with some of the dumbest people the world will ever see, and we suffer through this ordeal in the hope that someday we will waltz into heaven unafraid of meeting any of Ours. Ours is a term which covers the broad spectrum of idiot which is more often than not the garden variety of First Year University student. Not only do we often sit about and wonder how these people ever found themselves in a tertiary institution, but we also attempt doing something about our increasing frustration at having to deal with more and more stupidity crossing our paths.

So what do we do? We start a blog. We rant, rave and keep the dumbness of those we encounter as anonymous. While it may be hilarious to us, our charges don't really see the funny side of the things they come up with because the irony is often lost on them. Every effort will be made to respect the privacy of the dumbass in question, although if you ever had to encounter half the people we do, you'd wonder why on earth we're bothering to afford them that courtesy. Name and shame behbee. The problem occurs when we realise with alarming accuracy that some of the people we might name and shame might literally become the president/presidentess of our Great Land. Scary hey? Not half as scary as what you might find here.

Sooo, what do you expect to find here? Well, in a nutshell:

• The powers that be (the general system/bureaucracy which employs us)
• Spelling (of the atrocious and creative kind that students throw at us)
• Grammar (see above)
• The logic is where? (this is the speciality of the menu, our students tend to possess very little)
• LOL (the funny stuff we encounter on a daily basis)
• zOMG you got to University how? (these are shocking revelations into the minds of people who somehow or the other found themselves at university when ideally they should be in Grade 5)
• The genius that is (this often overlaps with the logic is where?, but this refers specifically to students who belong to a certain department. They never fail to amaze and amuse because they do things which tend to be terminally daft)
• Excuses excuses (every teacher on the face of the earth, probably thinks they've heard every excuse in the book from the dog ate my homework to the I did my work but left my book at home. Trust me, you've not heard/seen creative until you've seen what we offer.)
• Frankly my dear- I don't give a damn (we're really nice, up to a point, give us enough grief and you get the cold shoulder)
• When words fail (pictures or the feeling of so much horror that no other tag fits as a definitive)

We aim to shock readers even more than your local version of People Magazine, we solemnly swear that everything we post here is the absolute truth as written/said/done/handed in for marks by one of Ours.

rah*

P.S.
By Order of Management:
For the future of the human race, please ensure that you do not ever breed if you don't see the funny side in the things you will read here.